Today I want to talk about boyfriends.
I’m sixteen. Never had a boyfriend and only had one time where I liked one guy and he liked me back. I have never been the girl boys fall head over heels in love with. For the longest time, I didn’t care about that AT ALL. I thought all boys have cooties (they still do… some just have less than others), kissing was gross (some of it still is, btw), and any sort of innuendo made me blush. (some of them still do, lol)
The older I get, however, the more it strikes me sometimes by how lonely I feel. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t dwell on it constantly. I’m too busy. I used to get frustrated with myself for feeling lonely, actually. Why couldn’t I just be content? I have some of the BEST of friends, a wonderful job, a family that loves me unconditionally – and that’s a lot more than some people have.
I think most girls fall into two categories: they’re either boy crazy, or they’ve declared that they are an independent young woman who doesn’t need a man by her side. I’m not trying to call either side out, but I finally found the middle ground… the category that suits me the best.
The category I fall into is: God will present the right man for me when I’m ready for him.
Here’s the thing about this middle category. Have you ever thought about WHY you don’t have a boyfriend? You probably have, but you’ve probably focused on how you look and how you think your friends outshine you. (Fun Fact: they don’t outshine you. In fact, they might even feel the same about you, trust me.)
So, here’s my thing: The things I was thinking about late at night is there is a reason why you don’t have a boyfriend, okay? If you wish that one cutie-pie would ask you out and he’s not, maybe it’s to save you from a lot of hurt later on in life. Maybe he’s actually a jerk.
Would having a boyfriend just become another thing to take care of? I know I’m very busy. (or at least I was… my life has slowed down, but I still have things to do every day) Would it really be fair to your boyfriend if he was just another thing to check off the list? You probably wouldn’t appreciate it if he treated you like that.
Another thing that applies to me is I didn’t need a boyfriend – yes, on hard days at work I want a boyfriend to give me a big hug and take me to Chick-Fil-A. (that there is true relationship goals, people) – because sometimes you just really need some good girl friends. I’m talking girls who will sit with you late into the night and giggle hysterically over something stupid you did five years ago. Girls who will give you a hug when you cry and make you laugh later.
Maybe you need to strengthen some of those friendships around you instead of chasing after a boyfriend who might leave within a few months. Dating isn’t about showing off what kind of boy you can get – dating is about figuring out if the two of you can make a kick-butt team against whatever life throws against you.
But Victoria, you might say, I have all of those checked off – I don’t need to slow my schedule and I already have amazing friendships, and the guy I like is really an actual legit nice guy.
Okay. I understand. All I can say is this: God has a plan for you. And if that doesn’t involve a boyfriend right now, then baby, pursue the Man who already died for you:
by Victoria Richardson